REAL

We found ourselves singing together this weekend, playfully belting at the top of our lungs... “Everyone needs a little holiday... a time away... from each other...” Right after that came creative renditions from the Carpenters and Captain and Tennille. You can thank me. I will spare you.

In each of those moments, no less, when we do take that break, find the time away, and invest in the activities that refresh the soul, I find the benefit exponentially increased when shared with “real friends.”

Not just those who know your name, but those who will jump in the trenches with you... those who are loyal... those who laugh with you at the silly, yet still take time to reflect on the serious... who will love you no matter what... and who fear not to share truth with you... even when it hurts.

Sharing the hurt is often the paver of the road to authenticity - real friendship. When words from friends hurt, will you walk away? Will you think your friend is messed up or mixed up or should not hold as high of status as they actually do in your life? Will you dismiss his or her words simply because you do not like what they say? Or will you realize that the transparency of the words provides proof of a relationship that’s real?

I polled a few friends this past Saturday at our annual weekend getaway. Each year we plan a small break from our families, blogs, and the stresses prompted by life’s daily routines. It is time cherished... time that refreshes the soul... time that strengthens the other relationships in my life. So yesterday I asked the following: “Why do you enjoy this weekend? What is it about this weekend that propels you forward?”

“...we get a break...”
“...we can focus on each other...”
“...no one cares about our imperfections...”
“...we are real...”

Adding to the silly, the only real pressure, one may conclude, comes from the digestive tract. No attempt to be crude... just sharing from my weekend... laughing, playing, eating too much... trying to be real.

Truth is, everyone needs a little holiday... a time away... WITH each other.

AR

RADICAL HEROES

I will never forget that 5th grade Sunday school class. “Write down your 3 favorite heroes.” And without pause, I quickly scribbled down the names of Jesus, John F. Kennedy, and none other than baseball’s hit king, Pete Rose.

Jesus was a no brainer. I mean, the man brought a message of hope and redemption to the world that is radical beyond measure, but so empowering if embraced. Even as a child, his example was obvious.

John F. Kennedy, well, my political astuteness was somewhere short of astounding, but at the age of 11, I thought he was about the coolest President that had ever lived.

And Pete Rose? Wow... that guy even hustled on a walk to 1st base! I loved his effort and enthusiasm - even his batting stance. Granted, as a youth, we are often oblivious to the sins of an adult. Something about that youthful obliviousness and innocence remains ignorantly attractive.

Yet if our lists would be re-written without the innocence, who would appear as your heroes? Who would you choose as a role model - the men and women you admire - you look up to? What intrinsic traits provide the source of your admiration?

Jesus’ name would still be on my list. Something about unconditional love and radical forgiveness permanently establishes him at the top. JFK, well, I still think he was cool, but as usual, I tend to favor less spending by any administration; and personally, I probably would have preferred the personal rumor mill was a little quieter in his regard. Pete Rose?! Wow... I still think #14 was great on the field, and I have little understanding of an inconsistent litmus test that bars him from the Hall of Fame but allows others with outlandish impropriety to enter. True, though, his play off the field bars him from my list, as well.

Martin Luther King, Jr. would be a possibility. So would basketball’s John Wooden, my youngest son, Josh (the bravest person I know), and notable author, Elisabeth Elliot. In the 1950’s, early in their marriage, Elliot and her husband, Jim, worked among the tribal areas with the Quichua Indians in Equador. Jim and 4 other missionaries were soon speared to death by members of the Aucas tribe. Elisabeth would later return and and actually live with and minister to the same tribe that killed her husband. Speaking of radical forgiveness... It is possible.

Who are your heroes? Who are your role models? And most importantly, what characteristics propel them to the top of your list?

Those are the traits we should be teaching our innocent children now.

AR

AMAZING RACE

With the election of our 44th President, the discussion of race has risen to the forefront of national conversation. Thank God the color of a man’s skin served not as a deterrent nor qualification for his White House tenure. Beauty and integrity are internal; hence, skin color matters not... mattering not for us all.

The challenge in this dialogue is to address race well. Several poor examples have disrupted the conversation. For instance, we have heard from the emotionally-inciting, both the white and the black, the Ku Klux Klan and the New Black Panther Party, both seemingly to whom, skin color matters much.

In February we heard the US Attorney General, Eric Holder, say the following: "Though the nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards.” President Obama backed off Holder’s statements, obviously wondering who exactly Holder was referring to as the cowards, but both Obama and Holder seem correct when they say we need to learn to dialogue about this issue well.

Let us begin as a nation by allowing the other to celebrate their heritage. Celebration is appropriate, assuming it includes no superior lines of thought. Thus, there should be no offense when People Magazine runs last week’s "Power Players -- Black Hollywood celebrates some of its most acclaimed stars at the Essence Luncheon in Beverly Hills." Equally said, there should be no offense should the publication this week present: “Power Players -- White Hollywood celebrates some of its most acclaimed stars at the Essential Luncheon in Beverly Hills.”

Next, let us eliminate emotionally-inciting vocabulary. That means, for example, black and white alike terminate use of the word “nigger.” If one people group should disallow a word, ALL people groups should disallow the word.

And lastly, let us follow Martin Luther King Jr.’s example, and individually discard any remaining, quiet prejudice or hate in our hearts...

“Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.”

Hate confuses the false with the true... and the black with the white... the white with the black.

Let the dialogue begin. May it progress respectfully and well.

AR

PEANUT BUTTER

I pray you are sitting down. For some, this may be a challenging discussion... more on the grotesque side of life, if you will. Also, I apologize beforehand should I offend any loyal, Intramuralist readers. Some conversations are simply difficult. I must tell you that as a child, I learned to love crunchy peanut butter on my ice cream.

Granted, while my father’s example was undoubtedly responsible for my behavior, I am thankful my ice cream toppings never neared his more, shall we say, creative selection (...can you say cheese and maple syrup?).

Nonetheless, when the craving comes as an adult, I enjoy this delicacy in the privacy of my own home. Few see me. Few witness to either cheer or jeer. Granted, if the world knew, some would say it is unhealthy for me. Others would rally behind me. Still more would note the grotesque quality, but would add that my choice impacts no one; thus, my choice matters not. Each are valid arguments. Reasonable people reach distinctly different conclusions, and respectful dialogue in the dairy debate (meaning no shaming of another opinion) could be beneficial for us to learn from... especially when listening to my peanut butter passion.

However, since I live in a federal constitutional republic, the supreme power rests not in my individual desire, but rather, in our citizens as a whole, who are entitled to vote for their representation and essentially establish the law. We have executive, legislative, and judicial representation. Each of these representatives must then abide by a constitution, a document outlining the supreme law of the republic. At both the national and state level, the constitution can only be amended by the vote of its citizens. At the state level, the only caveat is that I cannot contradict the expressed rights of the national document. Hence, if the citizens of my state gathered in majority agreement to disallow crunchy peanut butter on ice cream, even though it brings me great joy and I would vehemently disagree with said decision, the citizens are entitled to that opinion. No judge nor attorney general has more authority than the vote of the people.

To be fair, there have been moments in this country where we have voted for constitutional amendments only to later rescind them. For example, the sale, manufacture, and transportation of alcohol for consumption was prohibited by a vote of the people via the 18th Amendment. However, 14 years later, this amendment was repealed. The key: ratification and repeal both proceeded through a vote of the people. While we may disagree with the contents of any amendment, as a nation, we must be careful if we ever project the power of the people onto a judge or general. Such violates the very definition of a republic and establishes a perilous precedent.

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

I sure do hope they let me keep peanut butter on my ice cream.

AR

BLINDERS

Give me a choice between Diet Pepsi and anything else, and I’ll choose anything else. Nothing against PepsiCo, but as a loyal Diet Coke consumer, I cannot nor will not tolerate any Diet Pepsi in my system. I will not drink it in a box. I will not drink it with a fox. I do not like Diet Pepsi.

Just as I approach PepsiCo, most of us evaluate people and politicos from a similar perspective. Our loyalty to one brand often blinds our ability to see rightly in regard to another. It tilts our perspective, often making us very black and white. (Ahem... ask any Ohio State or University of Michigan football fan.) We can then become unknowingly self-focused... ignorant of the strengths of another or the weaknesses of our own.

Loyal Democrats praise the change President Obama now offers our country. Have we not realized that he promised earmark reform on the campaign trail, but his very first budget proposal includes over 9,000 earmarks? That is not change.

Loyal Republicans scream about the unethical use of those hidden earmarks. Have we not realized that they are responsible for 40% of the pet projects? That is not responsible governing.

Democrats and Republicans alike blame President Bush and Obama respectively for the stock market’s free fall. Have we not realized that the market is driven by consumer confidence, and the market has been sliding under both of them? That is not confidence.

And arguably my current favorite, changing gears somewhat... Loyal ABC “Bachelor” enthusiasts cry foul when Melissa is chosen over Molly... or was it Molly over Melissa? Or wait... will that single father please make up his mind?? Maybe we should just quit watching that show. That is not reality.

That’s the problem. Because we are passionate, we become confused as to what reality actually is. Our emotions get in the way of thinking and seeing rightly. If we could actually see - and not allow our perspective to be blurred by passion - we would ask the above to do the following:

(1) Remove the earmarks.

(2) Govern responsibly.

(3) Stop the selfish thinking.

As for me, I’m going back to my Diet Coke. I hate Diet Pepsi.

AR

BIZZY

We go to work.
Climb the corporate ladder.
Bring home the bacon.
Fry it up in the pan.
Sort through the mail.
Read the paper.
Do the dishes.
Remember the laundry.
Take our kids to practice.
Sometimes multiple practices.
Even coach.
Drive kids to violin lessons.
Even Tae Kwon Do.
Ensure they are adequately socialized.
Answer the phone.
Go out to eat.
Attend church on Sunday.
Watch the game.
Invite friends over.
Dabble on Facebook.
Join our teens on Guitar Hero.
Read the latest John Grisham novel.
Be sure to watch Sportscenter.
At least the top 10 plays.
Keep track of the market.
Watch it plummet these past 3 months.
Redecorate.
Plan.
Purchase.
Purchase more.

We are busy.

I heard once that if satan can’t make you “bad,” he’ll make you busy. (Yes, I am aware “satan” is not capitalized, but I am not one who feels he deserves it.)

If we remain so busy throughout our lives, when our days on Earth end, what will we have missed? What will we regret? Will we miss accomplishing just one more thing? Will we miss attaining an additional piece of “stuff”? Or rather, will we regret not taking time to wonder... time to worship... and time to focus on what is good and right in this world?

When we are so busy, our lives are dictated more by circumstance. I have a strong suspicion that a life lived as a response to circumstance - as opposed to a life intentional in that wonder and worship - is one that has the highest potential of netting regret.

Here’s to finding what is good and right in this world. Here’s to finding it now.

AR

OUTTA' MY HOUSE

Remember that sophomoric cheer? “U-G-L-Y... You don’t need no alibi. YOU’RE UGLY... ab-so-lute-ly UGLY!” Granted, even accompanied by a teen chorus, no shreds of wisdom are necessarily evidenced in the previous articulation. But at least as teenagers - even though not the most respectful in regard to semantic selection - we were not afraid to call a spade, a “spade,” and the ugly, “ugly.”

Disrespect.

Chastisement of the poor or disabled.

Celebration of arrogance.

Whatever that was left in my refrigerator last week.

And let me offer one more: polarization.

Polarization is “U-G-L-Y.” Polarization incites, manipulates, and encourages nothing that is good and pure and right in this world. Polarization is a strategic initiative covertly utilized for a person or party’s own agenda. I read yesterday morning where one political party has already created advertising specifically designed to encourage the public to vote against the opposing party. Never mind that the elections will not take place until November of 2010. What is the purpose? How can one accurately assess the credibility of my congressman without discerning the effectiveness of his voting record over the length of his term? The reason is that the party operatives are solely attempting to polarize. Accuracy is irrelevant.

The worst offenders? The U.S. House of Representatives. We have leadership on the Supreme Court. Leadership in the White House. Leadership on many state and local levels. While several of those leaders hail from a specific party, bipartisanship remains a stated goal. But in the U.S. House of Representatives, polarization seems like a celebrated art form. Leadership seems wrought with polarization, and it negatively impacts their daily operations. With terms of service only 2 years, representatives fail to ford one another common decencies... listening, learning, being sharpened by one another. Perhaps they feel they do not have enough time to listen... knowing re-election opportunities will be soon be upon them. Unlike the Senate, no less, where the “good ole’ boys” seem to appreciate one another more and actually work to find effective compromise - the House leadership seems to encourage hunkering down in their ideological bunkers. This weakness in our House is concerning, especially, for example, when they felt called to craft the original stimulus bill. It fails to surprise that said bill included by far the greatest amounts of pet project, “smells-like-pork” spending.

My point? Truthfully, the point exhausts me. Few seem to mind the polarization of the House when their favored fulfills the majority. Yet my point is that it matters not who holds that majority. Our laws would be better crafted if the majority and minority of any tenure would learn to surrender polarization and work together... if partisanship and polarization were set aside in the name of the better good.

Maybe then we would witness less alibis - and ugliness - in Washington.

AR