FOOLISH

In the words of a seemingly immortal 10 year old, “Shots stink!”

Truth is, the boy is right.  No one enjoys the physician’s proclamation that a new inoculation is necessary (...and men, please withhold your well-intended empathy until an epidural has been placed in the lower portion of your back).

But Thursday’s shot sent my son spiraling downward in anger due to the unexpected pain.  For several moments, more quiet than anything as the tears silently streamed down his face, I simply held him.  Then the tears continued but the self justification of his anger swelled.  “Shots stink!  I shouldn’t have to get them!  They don’t do any good!  They just hurt!”  As the anger persisted, I finally asked him if perhaps we should look at this from another perspective.  At which point words spewed from a mere 10 year old that most of us adults spew as well - just below our breath so their logic will remain uncontested:  “Shots stink!  That’s the way I feel!  And because I feel it, it MUST be right!!”

Scary.  “Because I feel it, it must be right!”

How many of us have justified behavior based upon how we feel?

The woman who left her husband with 3 small children...

The parent who chewed out the coach as his son never entered the game...

The 20 year old girl who shot Steve McNair...

“Because I feel it, it must be right!”

I looked at my son, who can handle a wee bit more transparent conversation, and said, “I’m sorry, but you’re acting like a fool.  When my feelings contradict what is virtuous and true, it is not what is virtuous and true that has now become wrong.”

“But I feel it!  How can I be wrong??”

We are each capable of wrong.  We are each vulnerable to varied temptations, some that entice us more strongly than others.  But we must “live beyond ourselves,” say the wise words of Catherine Marshall, former author and wife of Peter Marshall, the 2-time Senate chaplain.  We must learn to base our feelings upon what is authentic, ethical, and true - as opposed to alter what we believe to be true because of how we feel.  Our feelings, while legitimately held, are capable of being wrong.  They can produce faulty thinking and unethical behavior.

“I’m sorry, Mom.”  It took approximately 40 minutes for my son to comprehend today’s teaching.  My guess is we will speak of it again.  And again.  I shared with him that many of us adults still struggle with the question.  He realized that even those of us aware of said truth still take turns acting as the fool.

AR