THE LEADER OF THE BAND

7 years ago we sat in Dave Thomas’s franchise, enjoying those old fashioned hamburgers, when my jaw dropped, and we must have suddenly looked aghast.  Previously uneventful, lunch  evolved somewhat excitingly when my 9 month old son threw his hands in the air, and his cast - which extended from his fist to mid-forearm - went flying through the air!  “Please don’t hit anyone!!” I agonized, as the small, purple plaster mold went airborne.  Thankfully, it quickly came to rest at the feet of another table, and gracefully, the table’s young family joined us in the succeeding laughter.

A few months later - after a second, post-Wendy’s casting - one that would not be spontaneously released due to perspiration, the doctors felt Joshua’s finger had sufficiently healed.  A 2”x 4” had fallen across the tops of Josh’s knuckles, slicing his middle proximal phalange in 2.  While only a fractured finger, the immobilization was necessary, as a 9 month old is not likely to avoid any interference with his hands.

After removing the cast, the orthopedist said if an additional incident occurred to feel free to return.  At that time, his resident in the room quietly muttered the following, loud enough for us to hear but quietly enough to be debated:  “Of course, if something else does happen, you don’t have to come see us.  It’s not like Josh will be playing in the orchestra one day.”

My son, Joshua, is an amazing child.  He goes where seemingly some will never go.  He touches people in ways the rest of us cannot, and he hits and throws a baseball as well or better than many adults.  In Josh, we were given an unexpected gift.  On day one, we realized the necessity of releasing him from all those parent-created expectations that each of us manufactures for our children.  And even though we believe those expectations to be justified, the truth is, we have to release all of our children from those expectations.  It is just that with Josh, we knew it right away.  Josh has Down syndrome.

Go with me, though, to the legitimate concern I have for Josh in today’s growing political debate...

Good men and women are debating the need to reform healthcare.  Healthcare needs to become more affordable and portable.  Unfortunately, though, many current reform suggestions would make American healthcare more expensive and less innovative.  My parental concern is that in any reform proposal, we need to ensure that people are guaranteed the medical attention they need.  No man or woman should be viewed as a “number” - someone subjectively judged as a potential “drain on the system”... someone who in government’s eyes is viewed as costing society more than they can give.  

Such seemed the mindset of the resident - believing Josh having a functional set of fingers was unnecessary - and truthfully, the doctor’s ignorance identifies perhaps Joshua’s most challenging hurdle:  surpassing the low expectations our world often has for the disabled.

When the resident coarsely commented about our son’s lack of potential for future musical performance, I offered a wise smile and said, “Who knows... Josh might even direct that orchestra one day.” 

Excuse me... I have a trumpet to purchase...

AR