VEEP STATUS

I’ve changed my mind.  When I grow up, I think I will run for Vice-President...

*  You are elected jointly with the President.

*  You can run on his coattails.

*  The campaign pressure is off.

*  Only the President has to be popular.
 

*  You are expected to assist in seizing the votes of only a small, populous state (i.e. Delaware, Wyoming, etc.).

*  Taming your tongue is unnecessary; you can run your mouth either in office or when you leave.
  

*  At the White House Correspondents Dinner, they will make more fun of the President than of you.
  

*  You are not necessarily expected to know how to spell.
  

*  You can claim to have invented pretty much anything.
  

*  You only have 2 official duties:

     (1)  Casting a vote in the event a deadlock within the Senate.

     (2)  Certifying the official vote count of the U.S. Electoral College.

*  All other duties are largely ceremonial.

*  Your mortgage is paid for.
  

*  You can declare yourself an expert, even when global scientists offer contradictory opinions.

*  You will attend many political functions, but if you commit a faux pas, it matters not, as it was the President the audience desired to hear from most.

*  You can claim to have reprimanded previous administrations.
  

*  The only one who asks you to remain silent will most likely do so privately (i.e. see G.H.W. Bush or B.Obama).
  

*  No one is capable of distinguishing the self-held belief that the President should have been you.
 

*  You can be a man or a woman (p.s. If you are a “pro-life” woman, beware).
 

*  And last but not least, in 4 years, you will be able to utilize your current position to launch the career you truly craved when you accepted the position.

Yes, yes... let’s run for Vice-President...  when I grow up, of course.

AR