DEAR ABBY

For years I have been enamored with her. Somewhere between harmless, fictitious stalking and an admiration from afar - very far, something about the one and only Dr. Abby Lockhart has always grabbed my attention (yes, yes, I can hear the initial snorts of some of you snickering).

Dr. Lockhart was not your most venerated doctor who had a professional pathway smoothly paved in front of her. In fact, even as a third year med student, she did not possess the finances to finish paying for school; hence, she resigned from the program, despondently becoming a full time obstetrics nurse instead, in order to make family, financial ends meet. Years later, when school was intentionally returned to, completed, and her MCAT’s solidly scored, those of us in the audience cheered her on with tears of elation... even though she could not hear us through that blue screen which separates the great expanses of fiction and reality.

Personally, Abby was also fairly flawed. Her innate grit and/or stubbornness - however one desires to spin it - combined with her desire to “always do the right thing,” conflicted her at times... especially in regard to relationships. From Carter to Kovac to her mother and brother, she made both foolish and wise decisions. She struggled with alcohol, infidelity, and alcohol again, which only seemed to somehow add to her extreme expressions of both wit and pain; surely it also enhanced NBC’s ratings. But listen to her words to a hurting teen this season: “I know you think you’re a bad person, but you’re not. You just did a bad thing.” Such was a glimpse into Abby’s heart; she was learning to forgive herself.

Abby had a magnanimous, sensitive heart, but as with each of us, the scars of disappointment and unforgiveness had hardened her; they produced a guardedness that impacted and sometimes repelled future relationships. Thus, when Abby finally let not only her guard down but extinguished it as well, we cried again. Our fictionally flawed, adult character was growing up.

In her last episode as a regular character, “ER’s” Dr. Abby Lockhart, portrayed by the talented Maura Tierney, unveiled that no longer religiously guarded heart, realizing that in spite of her flaws - perhaps because of her flaws - she was still able to grow. Reading from the book of Job, she quoted, “Why is light given to those in misery?” Her misery enabled her to see the world in a more humble, healthier way.

Tonight after 15 seasons, the most Emmy-nominated series in the history of television, “ER,” will come to its end. After moments of laughing at Romano and with Frank, the door to the supply closet’s brick wall will finally be sealed. No more adhered locker plate names will be added... no more Greene, Gallant, even Hathaway or Lockhart.

I will probably cry again. It’s that sentimental part of me... with my head somewhere between the expanses of fiction and reality... reminded of a heart less guarded.

Thanks, Abby. You were dear.

AR