Soon I will share my personal wish list for Christmas. I’ll warn you now: I like gifts! Until then, in my pre-Christmas preparations that each of us sometimes wildly engages in, I’ll share what I’m hoping to wrap today…
For Governor Rod Blagojevich: A pen to help him write his resignation letter. (He can sell the pen on Ebay afterwards – to the highest bidder, of course.)
For Hillary. Bifocals. (These should allow her to focus in on the job closest to her – as opposed to some other job she might be dreaming about.)
For the “Big 3” US Automakers: A model car. (One that runs as well and maintains the resale value of a Honda or Toyota.)
For Tony Dungy: A playoff berth. (Is there a man of greater integrity in the NFL?)
For Tom Brady: Microwave popcorn. (He’ll need something to munch on while watching those playoffs for the first time in 6 years.)
For Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez: Terrell Owen’s duct tape. (Surely TO has some that he’s forgotten to use again this year.)
For NBC’s “ER”: George Clooney’s return. (What would make us “ER” fans happier in the 15th and final season?)
For President Bush: Muscle relaxant. (Does everybody from Texas walk that way?)
For President-Elect Obama: An autographed basketball by John Wooden. (John Wooden also took time out shooting baskets, and he, too, led his team well.)
For Natasha and Malia Ann: Barbara and Jenna’s earplugs. (They’ll need them to maintain their precious, beautiful innocence, blocking out the plethora of disrespect some seem to spew when your father is the President.)
For European Television Producers: A filter. (Have you ever witnessed prime time European TV? Oh my.)
And finally, for all the incoming US Congressmen: “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” for those they represent and those with whom they disagree. (Excuse me, but partisanship is ugly. Remember that the most effective leaders engage in respectful dialogue, listen, and comprehend we can learn from one another.)
Time to wrap… remember, I like gifts.
AR
For Governor Rod Blagojevich: A pen to help him write his resignation letter. (He can sell the pen on Ebay afterwards – to the highest bidder, of course.)
For Hillary. Bifocals. (These should allow her to focus in on the job closest to her – as opposed to some other job she might be dreaming about.)
For the “Big 3” US Automakers: A model car. (One that runs as well and maintains the resale value of a Honda or Toyota.)
For Tony Dungy: A playoff berth. (Is there a man of greater integrity in the NFL?)
For Tom Brady: Microwave popcorn. (He’ll need something to munch on while watching those playoffs for the first time in 6 years.)
For Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez: Terrell Owen’s duct tape. (Surely TO has some that he’s forgotten to use again this year.)
For NBC’s “ER”: George Clooney’s return. (What would make us “ER” fans happier in the 15th and final season?)
For President Bush: Muscle relaxant. (Does everybody from Texas walk that way?)
For President-Elect Obama: An autographed basketball by John Wooden. (John Wooden also took time out shooting baskets, and he, too, led his team well.)
For Natasha and Malia Ann: Barbara and Jenna’s earplugs. (They’ll need them to maintain their precious, beautiful innocence, blocking out the plethora of disrespect some seem to spew when your father is the President.)
For European Television Producers: A filter. (Have you ever witnessed prime time European TV? Oh my.)
And finally, for all the incoming US Congressmen: “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” for those they represent and those with whom they disagree. (Excuse me, but partisanship is ugly. Remember that the most effective leaders engage in respectful dialogue, listen, and comprehend we can learn from one another.)
Time to wrap… remember, I like gifts.
AR
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