UNCOMMON POLICY

Ok. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe you, too. But somewhere along the line, probably due to my Judeo-Christian heritage, I learned that lying was wrong. It was not exactly one of those gray areas in life that our parents disagreed on which path of wisdom to impart. I mean, none know with certainty if Washington’s proclamation was factual, but honesty is a virtue.

So if it’s a virtue, why do so many adults avoid its possession?

I have been figuratively racking my brain... attempting to discern the motivation for such deceit. We have each heard some seemingly noble explanations for dishonest intent; however, the idea that therein lies any nobility makes it appear the deceit only continues. My best stab at intent is this: people lie because they wish to control what we think of them.

I’ll say it again. People lie because they wish to control what we think of them.

One of my favorite authors is John Ortberg. I especially appreciate his book, “The Life You’ve Always Wanted,” subtitled “Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People.” (One note of disclosure: I’m pretty ordinary, and I need discipline!) But Ortberg introduces the concept of how we individually attempt to control what others think of us... attempting to “convince them that our motives are pure, that our accomplishments are impressive, or that our life is in better shape than it seems.” The technical term for this manipulative behavior is “impression management.”

Sometimes the attempts simply are the forewarners of our conversation... For example... “You know, I would never cheat on my taxes, BUT...” “Obviously, I am not a regular viewer of soap operas, HOWEVER...” Each initial phrase is articulated in order to control the conclusions of my audience. Unfortunately, however, sometimes impression management plays out on a grander scale.

Like some notable, national politicians.
Like multiple Illinois Governors.
And like those who discovered steroids help the ball go a little farther.

The New York Yankees’ Alex Rodriquez has at times been considered one of the best players on the planet. He was named the 2003 Major League Baseball MVP - and since has become the youngest player to hit 500 home runs. He was marveled in the public eye. He also lied in that same eye about taking steroids. Granted, steroids were not illegal in MLB at the time of A-Rod’s admitted usage, but obviously A-Rod lied in order to manage the impression the public possessed in regard to his athletic prowess. He wanted his accomplishments and character to appear more impressive than they actually are.

Honesty is a virtue. Not all adults are virtuous. Perhaps like Mark Twain’s assessment, referring back to George Washington’s proclamation: “I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle.  Washington could not lie.  I can lie, but I won't.”

Sounds like a wise path for us all.

AR