SHOW ME SOME MONEY

As we humanly attempt to wrap our minds around the billions of dollars bank bailout... the billions of dollars auto bailout... the somewhat lesser mortgage bailout... and the zillion dollar economic bailout... it seems only logical to ask what you hope has been included in the bailing... I mean, it is our money. (Part of me wonders how I became so instantly wealthy... oh, wait... I am not... I do not possess said zillions... uh, problem is the government does not either...)

And so (...according to a very UNscientific poll...), here is what some of you clamor for:

* A $4000 check.
* A $5000 check. (Personally, I like 5 better than 4.)
* ”I'd like some money towards my college education...if I had more help with that, then I'd stimulate the economy with other purchases rather then having all my money tied up in student loans & horrid interest rates.”
* ”My house paid for.”
* A live-in masseur.
* 40 BOGO (Buy-One-Get-One-Free) coupons to Applebees, Outback, Olive Garden, and Cracker Barrel... “We have to eat, but our freedom to choose how to spend our money should be limited.”
* Money for restaurants that don’t serve pork.
* Unlimited gift cards to Walmart.
* The Governorship of Illinois. (I heard it can be bought.)
* $100 Starbucks gift certificates... “How can we shop without caffeine?”
* Lattes for $13/week, “if you buy the small size.”
* More Starbucks. (Caffeine is stimulating.)
* Childcare for older, autistic kids.
* “Money for car washes. Then we would use less gas, because clean cars slide through the air better.”
* A check “in proportion to the amount of taxes I have paid in.”
* No pet projects.
* Money for the dairy farmers.
* Money for small market baseball teams.
* Accountability partners for all Senators and Congressmen!
* A proclamation encouraging the purchase of my book. (See ”Essential Survival Guide to Living on Your Own” by S.Siepel on www.amazon.com.)
* A house cleaning service “ so we can go out and shop, work, and stimulate the economy!”

And on the high end of creative thinking, listen to the following wise readers from Ohio and Texas respectively:

* ”All government workers should have 5 days of unpaid leave this year (this includes the President). We will then hold a national lottery (at $1 a ticket) to see who gets to run the country on the days Obama has off!” (Note: includes the potential to stimulate both the economy AND the ego.)

And...

* ”I would like federally funded pedicures for all. It is close to sandals season and well-groomed feet are something we should NOT have to live without. Plus, I don't want to look at anyone else's gnarly toes!”

Here’s to no gnarly toes... amen to that... they provide ZERO stimulation.

AR